So here we find ourselves in December, summer has gone, school has started, spooky times have been had and some amazing fireworks have been lit and of course Santa has been!! I have finished my second year of Cladribine and I have felt more energised and balanced than I have felt in a long time. I guess that's when you know you've finally healed and accepted that life is just life and MS is a part of that, however one downside to the Cladribine is that I can't drink wine like I used to, actually that's probably a good thing right?! I now have a new found interest for proper ale, gotta love them porters! After having my Cladribine, I didn't feel as fatigued like I did before, in fact I stopped needing to nap and I love my naps. The last few months have been busy, I started uni and I'm really enjoying the course so I know as hard as it's going to be, I've made the right decision. My son has started secondary school which has been a huge jump as I've had to watch him grow up very quickly, too quick really but I guess here comes the next stage of parenting, the teenage years!! My daughter, has definitely developed a little sass and a lot of fire but she is my daughter after all but watching her grow, she makes her feel me smile so much.

I finally feel like I have found that balance that I've been trying to find the last few years, learned how to cope with my MS and deal with everything life has to throw at you and believe me it has definitely done that the last month or so. Having lost my dad when I was 19 and in one way losing my mum at the same time to grief, we'd finally got her back after a long battle with depression, she was there again so nearly losing her to Sepsis this month was the scariest thing I have had to deal with. Thank goodness for modern medicine, my dad was not having her yet! It will be a long recovery but she was home for Christmas and she looked happy, very happy in fact. We've beaten flu bugs and sinus infections this month, yes because it comes in threes haha! It did not spoil Christmas, in fact Christmas was good this year. No MS, no sadness just genuine smiles from me and the munchkins.

I think this year has definitely been about acceptance and balance, haha definite Star wars reference there if ever I heard one. Knowing when I need to slow down and rest but also knowing my life isn't over because of MS, you just learn to adapt with it that's all. I have no idea what 2020 will bring, I know that this year has had it's low points but a lot of successes and achievements for me and the munchkins. To which my family and friends have been a huge part of that, I'm hoping for a bit of calm next year but who knows right, I know that I'm strong enough to deal with what life throws at me. 'The force is strong with this one!'

So here's to 2020, may it be filled with happieness, love and good health oh and next year, don't forget to move that sodding Elf!!