Well hello July, how are you? Hopefully you are the light at the end of the tunnel, or perhaps it will be your friend August? It really has been a crazy few months thanks to this virus but it isn't the only thing that has sent the world alittle crazy, I guess us as humans, we aren't meant to be shut off from the world. I know I'm certainly not! We've had riots and protests which has meant people have flocked together but weirdly, it hasn't impacted the levels of the virus, go figure? After being at home for 9 weeks, I'd had enough and decided I needed to get back to work, I didn't have to but I needed to for my sanity. It was the best decision for me, munchkins went back a few days aswell which has helped them. It was good to talk to other adults, I love my munchkins but it was nice to see and be around other adults. It was rather strange at first but after a while you forget you aren't supposed to be near them haha!
One thing that I've developed is anxiety, not something I have ever had, I find myself worrying about everything especially becoming ill, it's a horrible feeling. Whether it's the whole situation which is amplifying my MS, I don't know but I've never ached as much as I do at the moment. I guess it's all about balance and I need to be able to find it again. Bloods are normal so hopefully the doctor can give me some reassurance when I see them next, getting hold of the MS nurse has been difficult so it's hard to know if it's part of the MS or something else? I've had waves of sadness, uncertainty and feelings of loneliness. Now this is not something that has ever bothered me, my munchkins fill my life with smiles, laughter and love, I'm happy in my own skin, doing things by myself, maybe it's the pandemic that has made people re-evaluate their lives and I've had things to distract myself the last few years so not having the distractions has left me alone in my thoughts a little too much, especially when I don't have the munchkins but I think I needed to go through it, distraction doesn't help healing so maybe facing everything I've pushed aside has helped me heal properly. Perhaps, even though I don't see myself differently having MS, in the back of mind I feel like others would if I mentioned it. I'm still me, just have to nap on occasion, it's not who I am, just a part of me.
However, life is slowly going back to normal, I was able to form a bubble with my mum and sis so it meant I could finally hug them, especially my little niece. Met up with the girlies which was great, it was lovely to see them, they have been my rocks since my diagnosis so not seeing them has been really hard. The munchkins are now able to spend time with their grandparents which has made a huge difference in a positive way, I've managed to assemble a whole room, including a loft bed for my daughter, by myself...MS shove that up ya pipe and smoke it!! My daughter got into the school we applied for so a new start for her in September, my son has shot up to the point he is as tall as me , thinking he will be taller by the end of the year?! I ended up passing my 1st year at uni which is great, I did it! Despite everything going off in my life, I still passed it whoop whoop...second year, here I come!
This year is definately one I'm not going to forget and it's only July, yes there have been some really crap moments but there have also been things to celebrate and embrace so here's hoping that the year ends on a high and 2021 is better!!!
One thing that I've developed is anxiety, not something I have ever had, I find myself worrying about everything especially becoming ill, it's a horrible feeling. Whether it's the whole situation which is amplifying my MS, I don't know but I've never ached as much as I do at the moment. I guess it's all about balance and I need to be able to find it again. Bloods are normal so hopefully the doctor can give me some reassurance when I see them next, getting hold of the MS nurse has been difficult so it's hard to know if it's part of the MS or something else? I've had waves of sadness, uncertainty and feelings of loneliness. Now this is not something that has ever bothered me, my munchkins fill my life with smiles, laughter and love, I'm happy in my own skin, doing things by myself, maybe it's the pandemic that has made people re-evaluate their lives and I've had things to distract myself the last few years so not having the distractions has left me alone in my thoughts a little too much, especially when I don't have the munchkins but I think I needed to go through it, distraction doesn't help healing so maybe facing everything I've pushed aside has helped me heal properly. Perhaps, even though I don't see myself differently having MS, in the back of mind I feel like others would if I mentioned it. I'm still me, just have to nap on occasion, it's not who I am, just a part of me.
However, life is slowly going back to normal, I was able to form a bubble with my mum and sis so it meant I could finally hug them, especially my little niece. Met up with the girlies which was great, it was lovely to see them, they have been my rocks since my diagnosis so not seeing them has been really hard. The munchkins are now able to spend time with their grandparents which has made a huge difference in a positive way, I've managed to assemble a whole room, including a loft bed for my daughter, by myself...MS shove that up ya pipe and smoke it!! My daughter got into the school we applied for so a new start for her in September, my son has shot up to the point he is as tall as me , thinking he will be taller by the end of the year?! I ended up passing my 1st year at uni which is great, I did it! Despite everything going off in my life, I still passed it whoop whoop...second year, here I come!
This year is definately one I'm not going to forget and it's only July, yes there have been some really crap moments but there have also been things to celebrate and embrace so here's hoping that the year ends on a high and 2021 is better!!!
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